Last day before start of new life and new habits (I hope!). Yesterday my friends and I went to Northbrook, and we live in Crystal Lake, Riverside, and Elmhurst, and had lunch at a wonderful restaurant at 2124 Northbrook Court, on the very north side of it, Di Pescara. We would all highly recommend it, not only for the food, but because they let us sit there from 1 til 5, just talking after a most enjoyable lunch. We went there for the crab legs, and they did not disappoint. And I had peppermint ice cream for dessert, one of my very favs, and usually only available at Christmas time. I was surprised to have it offered. I wore my new makeup and perfume.
So today I will do major grocery shopping. Which will take forever, as I shop the ads and go to several different stores for the best prices on stuff. Tomorrow I hope to rise at 5:14 am and walk. Will set the coffee maker to go on so that I will have coffee ready when I walk in the door.
I am trepidatious, but I can only try. One day at a time.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
ME
Yesterday, I went and bought some more beauty products, including a new, expensive perfume, Lancome's Magnifique, at $65 for a 1.7 oz spray. Yes, I do own perfume, which I love to wear, but the two that I have are Joy and some bluebell body spray, both of which are rather sweet. Magnifique is more woodsy, not floral. I love it. So now I have some choices.
So far I've spent almost $200 on Products, but I figure I haven't done so for, truthfully, years. And I do think prices now might be at their lowest, hopefully. This stuff will last me for years too. And today, I intend to go out and try and get a few more, and then come home and internet shop the rest.
And after that, write down some sort of beauty routine, one I can stick to. All this by way of just making me feel better about myself, thus an incentive to stick to the diet and exercise.
Also, this morning, I made out a huge grocery list, to shop for on Friday, and start this whole thing on Saturday. Even plan to take my lunch to Arlington when we go next Wednesday. Think of the money I'll save that I can then end up losing at the track. I made copious notes in Rempe's book in 2002, and see where most of the recipes were delicious. That's good. Diets always cost me a fortune in the beginning, but then level off, as I build up a supply of the food I need. And wonder of wonders, Caputo's actually has a sale on what is normally very expensive beef tenderloin, So cheap I wonder if it's the real thing.
And I did think that, if I'm bored with the Rempe book after 40 days, and I WILL last that far, I can go on to another diet book. I have plenty. I don't believe the diet so much matters, as the sticking to it does.
So I'm getting there. Sorted my CDs that I want to use to dance with in the basement. Took the breast exercise book upstairs. And laid down the two nice bottles of red wine, that now I will save for Thanksgiving. Now I have to search for the weights. It's mostly upper body work and stretching, something a 67-year-old does need. And the 20-Minute-Exercise video.
Tomorrow I'm going out with some old friends to a small art show in Evanston and DiPescara's restaurant in Northbrook to get some real crab legs. I don't know if I've ever even had those before. And when I say old friends, I mean of 46 years duration. And those are the best. They know me inside out, backwards and forwards, from before I was married. They know my OCD, my quirks, my personality, as not even my husband does, I suspect. I am truly myself with them as with no others. All this by way of saying - if you've got some good friends, keep them. In later years, they will be a treasure like no other. And they know, too, all my diet woes. They even remember me when I was slim. Last year, when I lost almost twenty pounds, one of them asked (the skinny one) didn't I feel so much better? And I had to say no, I felt no different at all. Diet-wise, it's a curse to be so healthy.
So far I've spent almost $200 on Products, but I figure I haven't done so for, truthfully, years. And I do think prices now might be at their lowest, hopefully. This stuff will last me for years too. And today, I intend to go out and try and get a few more, and then come home and internet shop the rest.
And after that, write down some sort of beauty routine, one I can stick to. All this by way of just making me feel better about myself, thus an incentive to stick to the diet and exercise.
Also, this morning, I made out a huge grocery list, to shop for on Friday, and start this whole thing on Saturday. Even plan to take my lunch to Arlington when we go next Wednesday. Think of the money I'll save that I can then end up losing at the track. I made copious notes in Rempe's book in 2002, and see where most of the recipes were delicious. That's good. Diets always cost me a fortune in the beginning, but then level off, as I build up a supply of the food I need. And wonder of wonders, Caputo's actually has a sale on what is normally very expensive beef tenderloin, So cheap I wonder if it's the real thing.
And I did think that, if I'm bored with the Rempe book after 40 days, and I WILL last that far, I can go on to another diet book. I have plenty. I don't believe the diet so much matters, as the sticking to it does.
So I'm getting there. Sorted my CDs that I want to use to dance with in the basement. Took the breast exercise book upstairs. And laid down the two nice bottles of red wine, that now I will save for Thanksgiving. Now I have to search for the weights. It's mostly upper body work and stretching, something a 67-year-old does need. And the 20-Minute-Exercise video.
Tomorrow I'm going out with some old friends to a small art show in Evanston and DiPescara's restaurant in Northbrook to get some real crab legs. I don't know if I've ever even had those before. And when I say old friends, I mean of 46 years duration. And those are the best. They know me inside out, backwards and forwards, from before I was married. They know my OCD, my quirks, my personality, as not even my husband does, I suspect. I am truly myself with them as with no others. All this by way of saying - if you've got some good friends, keep them. In later years, they will be a treasure like no other. And they know, too, all my diet woes. They even remember me when I was slim. Last year, when I lost almost twenty pounds, one of them asked (the skinny one) didn't I feel so much better? And I had to say no, I felt no different at all. Diet-wise, it's a curse to be so healthy.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
ME
And another thing. The reason (I just thought of) that I am so reliant on a rigid diet is that I transfer my OCD from finishing things, to the diet, sticking to that exactly. And that does work, until I get bored. How to keep from doing that is the question? How to keep the motivation.
PS. My husband weighs 170 pounds. Lean and trim, every inch. It's disgusting. But he does move a lot, except when he doesn't. He can sit and read for hours, something I cannot do. Odd. And he sleeps much less than I. I think I sleep too much too, but again, so did my mother. How our genes determine us.
I might try here to post every night after the exercise video, we'll see.
PS. My husband weighs 170 pounds. Lean and trim, every inch. It's disgusting. But he does move a lot, except when he doesn't. He can sit and read for hours, something I cannot do. Odd. And he sleeps much less than I. I think I sleep too much too, but again, so did my mother. How our genes determine us.
I might try here to post every night after the exercise video, we'll see.
ME
OK - this one is all about me, and my body. Once again, I have reached the point of disgust with myself, and so I thought that if I put it down here in print, for all the world to see, maybe, just maybe, I can get the determination, and endurance, and lord knows what, to lose weight.
I am 67 years old, am now 5' 2" tall, (I used to be 5' 2 3/4" tall) and weighed this morning before consuming anything, 191 pounds. This is ridiculous, I feel like a blob.
Admittedly I am a foodie, as are my sons, and I love to cook, and am good at it. One of the joys of my life is starting a new recipe. I actually love to grocery shop. I love to read recipes even. What chance have I?
And the thing is, my OCD is a big deterrence. Years ago, in fact the year before the big snow storm in Chicago on Valentine's Day I went on a liquid diet, starting at 177 and eventually getting down to 117 pounds. This was through Rush Hospital, and they had a weekly counseling session, run by a guy who was as skinny as we were all fat. At one session he pulled me out into the hall and said that he thought my weight problems stemmed not from any psychological issues but from OCD, and would I consider taking meds. I was stunned. I never even dreamt I had such a thing, even though I did realize I had some odd habits. I immediately came home and asked my husband if he knew I had OCD, and he said "Sure". Wow!
So. But being a definite non-pill person, I declined the meds. And like everybody else, I regained the weight. But I did quit exercising hard and I went back to my old eating habits. I have nobody to blame but myself.
I hate my body, hate it, but unfortunately for any weight loss efforts, it works. I am blessed with good genes, and my mother, who lived to be 98 1/2, was overweight after she had me at 44 (and had struggled to keep a decent weight for long before that, telling me that she used to eat only one meal a day). In fact, I have her body. Her sister was obese, and lived to be over 90. My father and his sisters were long-lived, most in their 80s and some well into the 90s. He was 90 when he died. My mother's only health issues were arthritis and incontinence. Period. No high blood pressure, no diabetes, no high cholesterol. When I took her, finally, to a nursing home at age 96, they refused to believe me when I told them she was on no pills at all.
So there is no health issue that can give me any incentive. Sure, I have arthritis in my knees, but it does not keep me from going up and down stairs a zillion times a day, or walking five miles.
I eat too much, and move too little. Period. I love food and wine. Too much.
What to do? What to do? In the past, I get bored with any diet after a while. Last year, 2008, at the beginning, I started taking that Alli (I was so desperate that, yes, I took pills). I followed the on-line diet religiously, and from 192, I dropped to 173 by June! But the diet was so much trouble, I began to be concerned about any long-term effects, and I was bored with it. So I quit. And quit exercising, which I was doing. And look what happened. Back to Go.
Another thing. I seem always to hover around the same weight. For decades now. I don't keep on gaining at least. And I console myself with that fact, not good.
I am gearing up to start another diet and exercise program. The diet from "1,001 Simple Ways to Lose Weight" by Gary L. Rempe, copyright 1997. I own a bunch of diet books, natch, and this was the first in alpha order. And I see I have gone on the diet before, in 2002. I started at 188, only 3 pounds from now. And it is a 40 day diet, which will give me a good start - I hope. I have done this so very many times now. And I ALWAYS at some point, quit. The thing is, I must, simply MUST, learn how to eat without a diet regimen. But first things first, I think.
Many others have weight loss blogs, I know, but this really isn't for you, it's for me. And how many are my age? I want to live forever, and begin to worry that I cannot do that at this weight. And I'm so sick of the way I look. Yesterday, I even went out and bought Product, something I haven't done for years, mascara, blush, foundation, etc.
So all this writing is by way of gearing myself up, of putting on the sword, and shield, and chain mail, and helmet, so to speak. (I love all things medieval.)
I haven't gone out and bought the food yet. Am still looking for Product. And I must somehow learn to go off the diet when I travel and go out to restaurants, but still make the right choices. And give up alcohol. Hard. And exercise. And yes, get back to the bus routes, maybe ease off gardening for a while. I also hate my house and garden and the way they both look. See, all that involves movement, cleaning and washing and weeding. Something I'm not very good at. This very blog is stationary.
And another thing. I am married to a 70-year-old man, who jogs five miles every other day, who is 6' tall, and can eat every and any thing he wants, and weighs what he did in high school, maybe less. I know that even if he didn't run, his body would still metabolize at a disgusting rate. His sister's does. People who watch him eat can't believe his weight. Or how much he can put down. And when I cook something, he has always persisted in splitting it right down the middle, giving me half. I could serve myself first, and should, and then let him put the leftovers away. But, while I know that my weight is not his problem, he knows that it is very hard, due to my OCD, for me to leave anything. This is what the guy at Rush picked up on, that I have to finish things. Or eat something that I can finish. Another thing I must get past, somehow.
My exercise plan is to get up every morning 30 minutes before dawn, throw on some clothes, and go off walking down the Illinois Prairie Path for an hour to a walking tape that a deceased friend recorded for me years ago. It thus has resonance. And I have done this before and actually enjoy it. The world is different then, particularly the light. It is magical. I sleep better, and feel better about myself. Why then do I always discontinue? Is there an inner Being I can connect to? I wish I believed that.
I would also do, every other day, some exercises from a book called "101 Essential Tips Breast Care" by Dr. Miriam Stoppard, also 1997, and a DK Publishing book, which puts out great stuff. I have done this set, which takes me about 40 minutes, off and on for years now also, and again, feel great when they finally kick in, about 4 to 6 weeks after I start. I tie them in to making my bed, which I do religiously every day. I hate getting in an unmade bed. And that works for me. Or has.
Then I would like to, before lunch, do a little dancing in the basement to my CDs. I love to dance, and I just freestyle my way around here. It's fun.
And after dinner, instead of parking in front of the TV for a DVD, which I usually do, to just do a little of the "20 Minute Workout" that I have taped from many years ago. Admittedly it's for 20-year-olds, but, hey, they do have great bods, and give me inspiration. It would probably take me a year just to work up to doing 20 minutes.
Too much? Maybe. But I have the metabolism of a slug. Which reminds me that I saw that word in the name of an English pub in Norwich, "The Lettuce and the Slug".
So here we are. And here we go.
I am 67 years old, am now 5' 2" tall, (I used to be 5' 2 3/4" tall) and weighed this morning before consuming anything, 191 pounds. This is ridiculous, I feel like a blob.
Admittedly I am a foodie, as are my sons, and I love to cook, and am good at it. One of the joys of my life is starting a new recipe. I actually love to grocery shop. I love to read recipes even. What chance have I?
And the thing is, my OCD is a big deterrence. Years ago, in fact the year before the big snow storm in Chicago on Valentine's Day I went on a liquid diet, starting at 177 and eventually getting down to 117 pounds. This was through Rush Hospital, and they had a weekly counseling session, run by a guy who was as skinny as we were all fat. At one session he pulled me out into the hall and said that he thought my weight problems stemmed not from any psychological issues but from OCD, and would I consider taking meds. I was stunned. I never even dreamt I had such a thing, even though I did realize I had some odd habits. I immediately came home and asked my husband if he knew I had OCD, and he said "Sure". Wow!
So. But being a definite non-pill person, I declined the meds. And like everybody else, I regained the weight. But I did quit exercising hard and I went back to my old eating habits. I have nobody to blame but myself.
I hate my body, hate it, but unfortunately for any weight loss efforts, it works. I am blessed with good genes, and my mother, who lived to be 98 1/2, was overweight after she had me at 44 (and had struggled to keep a decent weight for long before that, telling me that she used to eat only one meal a day). In fact, I have her body. Her sister was obese, and lived to be over 90. My father and his sisters were long-lived, most in their 80s and some well into the 90s. He was 90 when he died. My mother's only health issues were arthritis and incontinence. Period. No high blood pressure, no diabetes, no high cholesterol. When I took her, finally, to a nursing home at age 96, they refused to believe me when I told them she was on no pills at all.
So there is no health issue that can give me any incentive. Sure, I have arthritis in my knees, but it does not keep me from going up and down stairs a zillion times a day, or walking five miles.
I eat too much, and move too little. Period. I love food and wine. Too much.
What to do? What to do? In the past, I get bored with any diet after a while. Last year, 2008, at the beginning, I started taking that Alli (I was so desperate that, yes, I took pills). I followed the on-line diet religiously, and from 192, I dropped to 173 by June! But the diet was so much trouble, I began to be concerned about any long-term effects, and I was bored with it. So I quit. And quit exercising, which I was doing. And look what happened. Back to Go.
Another thing. I seem always to hover around the same weight. For decades now. I don't keep on gaining at least. And I console myself with that fact, not good.
I am gearing up to start another diet and exercise program. The diet from "1,001 Simple Ways to Lose Weight" by Gary L. Rempe, copyright 1997. I own a bunch of diet books, natch, and this was the first in alpha order. And I see I have gone on the diet before, in 2002. I started at 188, only 3 pounds from now. And it is a 40 day diet, which will give me a good start - I hope. I have done this so very many times now. And I ALWAYS at some point, quit. The thing is, I must, simply MUST, learn how to eat without a diet regimen. But first things first, I think.
Many others have weight loss blogs, I know, but this really isn't for you, it's for me. And how many are my age? I want to live forever, and begin to worry that I cannot do that at this weight. And I'm so sick of the way I look. Yesterday, I even went out and bought Product, something I haven't done for years, mascara, blush, foundation, etc.
So all this writing is by way of gearing myself up, of putting on the sword, and shield, and chain mail, and helmet, so to speak. (I love all things medieval.)
I haven't gone out and bought the food yet. Am still looking for Product. And I must somehow learn to go off the diet when I travel and go out to restaurants, but still make the right choices. And give up alcohol. Hard. And exercise. And yes, get back to the bus routes, maybe ease off gardening for a while. I also hate my house and garden and the way they both look. See, all that involves movement, cleaning and washing and weeding. Something I'm not very good at. This very blog is stationary.
And another thing. I am married to a 70-year-old man, who jogs five miles every other day, who is 6' tall, and can eat every and any thing he wants, and weighs what he did in high school, maybe less. I know that even if he didn't run, his body would still metabolize at a disgusting rate. His sister's does. People who watch him eat can't believe his weight. Or how much he can put down. And when I cook something, he has always persisted in splitting it right down the middle, giving me half. I could serve myself first, and should, and then let him put the leftovers away. But, while I know that my weight is not his problem, he knows that it is very hard, due to my OCD, for me to leave anything. This is what the guy at Rush picked up on, that I have to finish things. Or eat something that I can finish. Another thing I must get past, somehow.
My exercise plan is to get up every morning 30 minutes before dawn, throw on some clothes, and go off walking down the Illinois Prairie Path for an hour to a walking tape that a deceased friend recorded for me years ago. It thus has resonance. And I have done this before and actually enjoy it. The world is different then, particularly the light. It is magical. I sleep better, and feel better about myself. Why then do I always discontinue? Is there an inner Being I can connect to? I wish I believed that.
I would also do, every other day, some exercises from a book called "101 Essential Tips Breast Care" by Dr. Miriam Stoppard, also 1997, and a DK Publishing book, which puts out great stuff. I have done this set, which takes me about 40 minutes, off and on for years now also, and again, feel great when they finally kick in, about 4 to 6 weeks after I start. I tie them in to making my bed, which I do religiously every day. I hate getting in an unmade bed. And that works for me. Or has.
Then I would like to, before lunch, do a little dancing in the basement to my CDs. I love to dance, and I just freestyle my way around here. It's fun.
And after dinner, instead of parking in front of the TV for a DVD, which I usually do, to just do a little of the "20 Minute Workout" that I have taped from many years ago. Admittedly it's for 20-year-olds, but, hey, they do have great bods, and give me inspiration. It would probably take me a year just to work up to doing 20 minutes.
Too much? Maybe. But I have the metabolism of a slug. Which reminds me that I saw that word in the name of an English pub in Norwich, "The Lettuce and the Slug".
So here we are. And here we go.
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