THE NEW ME

Wow! Another pound! I can hardly believe it, especially as I only trooped down the Prairie Path twice in the five days. Now at 177, 15 pounds gone. And my knees are worse than they were at 192 pounds. Go figure.
I know that now I must get an alternative exercise program, as the outdoors becomes increasingly yucky. I have a zillion exercise videos, and will choose one soon. And I also see that I really should restart the weights and stretching stuff too. I just hate it so. But i am soooo flabby.
See, that's the difference between my skinny husband and me. He goes out, no matter what the weather. Runs five miles every other day, and walks about that in between. Rain, snow, sleet, no matter. He does it, Me, I figured humans built shelter to protect us from all that. Although I have heard the saying, "There is no bad weather, only bad clothes." But when it's raining, I'm sorry, I'm staying in. Period. So no exercise Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and now Sunday too. Although I did get in a little walking to The Music Box to see "Antichrist". Maybe 20 minutes tops.

Eating has been OK, but not terrific, and that's why I was so surprised to see another pound gone. It might come back on the next weigh, I wouldn't be surprised.

On another note, Friday nite I saw the legendary Arlo Guthrie at the Arts Center at the College of DuPage. It was hard to take in, that I was actually listening to a Living Legend, and in good seats to boot. He was terrific, storytelling and singing, and to my surprise, I learned that he is five years younger than I am. That was a real shock, he has been famous for so long, I guess. The audience was composed mostly of grey-hairs, like me. The original Woodstock crowd, aging. He was joined by his one son and three daughters, along with assorted grandkids and a long-time associate. Just a super show.

85 days down.

THE NEW ME

55 days and still 12 pounds - 180. Ok, I'll take it, since I could have been 181 and still been on target. So on the 30th, I only have to maintain, although I sure would like to get down further.

I do get up mostly 30 minutes before dawn, but am not immediately going out the door to exercise. And that's OK. I tie it in to when my husband goes out the door to walk or run. He is absolutely religious about it, so that helps me. Yesterday, when we were babysitting, while the kid was taking a nap, instead of sitting around reading, I had brought my tape, and took a one hour walk in a near-by cemetery, In the past, I would have just sat. Progress.

On the 23rd, a Wednesday, a friend and I walked around the Morton Arboretum for at least two hours. Not any great pace, but a longer time. On Wednesdays, it's senior day, and you can get in for six bucks. It's so lovely this time of year.

I watch what I eat always. Still trying to follow the original diet plan, but not so religiously. If I don't happen to have the particular food on hand, I just punt.

This morning, I went to have my cholesterol and Vitamin D levels checked. They were also giving away free smoothies, so I brought one home and might have half this afternoon. We'll see; they are horribly caloric. Last week I had a heart scan to see about calcium buildup in my arteries. Haven't gotten that report yet. I guess you could say that "I'm taking charge of my health", a mostly overused and useless phrase, as no one can control their genes or the air they breath.

55 days down.

THE NEW ME

Sorry about not posting Sunday, but life got in the way. I cannot blame the house guest, as she did not arrive til 7:30 pm or so.
Weight Sunday morning - 180. 50 days now and 12 pounds. I am still somewhat in awe of that. 2 pounds ahead, so that on Friday morning, when another five days have passed, I only have to weigh 181. Let us hope not, but it gives me some breathing room.

I am still trooping down the Prairie Path almost every day, and I do think the new shoes have helped. Plus the icing when I come back. I do try and walk around town whenever and wherever I can, to the library, to a friend's house, etc. And I'm noticing that my gait is faster, consciously, but still. And perhaps, although I'm afraid to put this down in writing, my energy level is up. I do find that while watching television at night, I have to get up during commercials and move around. Even a DVD, I will stop to get up and do something.

On the 16th, went to a Women's Health Fair in the Yorktown Shopping Mall, and was it ever terrific! Free blood pressure screening, diabetes tests, eye tests, skin assesment, free pens, food, skin care products, just stuff. For my friend, who is unemployed, it was a gold mine. Took us a solid two hours to get through it all, and even then we did not have time to stay and get the free massages offered. At several stations, so you could get more than one. My blood pressure is a little up, 123/76, and it used to be 110/70, so that is another goal, to get it back down.

Several meals out, and I did good. One at my daughter-in-law's, although she graciously cooked a delicious meal she knew I could eat, and had some scrumptious fresh pineapple for dessert. It was perfection. A book discussion, with all sorts of goodies on the table, and I limited myself to the fresh fruit and a few homemade biscotti. An evening of cards with all sorts of snacks, but also fresh fruit that I had. It was hard to pass up the chocolate cake, and lemon pound cake, but I did. And to be fair, it wasn't that hard. Breakfast out Sunday morning, and I also did good, just having a bowl of kiwi fruit, an English muffin, and coffee, for which I had asked for some skim milk. I am not cooking up a storm for the house guest, as I might have in the past, but just serving simple meals, pork chops, baked potato, broccoli, hamburgers tonite. And this morning, a coffee get-together, again a lot of food set out, and I only had some blueberries, and some plain yogurt.

All this detail is by way of showing you that I have come off of the strict diet plan, and am still managing. This is a huge, HUGE, milestone for me. Just a few hours ago, there was left on the table half of a blueberry muffin that everyone was raving about, and I was so sorely tempted. Not because I was hungry, but just to finish off that half. I even put it on my plate. Then I looked at it hard, and said NO. A biggie for me.

50 days down.

THE NEW ME

I knew it; I did jinx myself. 183 this morning, 40 days into the Plan. But here's where that 1 pound every five days helps. Because I only had to weight 184. So while, on one hand I'm really bummed, on the other, I figure I'm still ahead. And in the next five days, I only have to stay at 183.

And I must admit, I have not been rising 30 minutes before dawn, and exercising, as I said I would. So I am probably getting more sleep. And while I have been walking, I have not been doing anything else, and some days that means nothing at all. I cannot afford that. All the data says I should exercise for an hour each and every day. Hard.


But I have not been off the food plan, at least. And oddly, I have never even been tempted. My daughter-in-law is a superb baker, and over the weekend she made an apple pie. I love pie, but I was not even remotely saying "I want that". I had some watermelon chunks, which I love also, and a small container of yogurt. It was fine.

My knees are still iffy, and that may be part of the reason I have laid off. Yesterday I bought three pairs of shoes online, and we'll see if they help. My husband says my pair of Adidas, which I have had so long, I can't even remember when I bought them or where (and I usually do remember that stuff), has broken down totally. He is out now to see about knee braces. Maybe they will help. It would be nice if the humidity would cooperate.

So I will continue, onwards and downwards, I hope. I think tomorrow I will rise early and try to exercise again. Today, I plan to march down The Prairie Path and see if the braces help. Or whatever they're called. 40 days, nine pounds, I should not complain.

On another note, I do plan to reconnect with those bus routes. The reason, well several, that I have not been doing that, is gardening season hit me, and more importantly, the route #7, the next one, is thru what I think is an iffy neighborhood, and I was reluctant to do it. And I may find that that is a totally preconceived prejudice. But now my husband says he will go with me, so we are planning that for one day next week. Watch for it.

And this weekend, I will attend the Celtic Fest, and report on that. Years ago, I went to a smaller one, held in OakBrook Terrace, on the grounds of Butler Golf Course. And loved it. Can't wait to be at this bigger one in Grant Park.

40 days down.

THE NEW ME

This morning I weighed in at 184! Wow! So that is 8 pounds in one month, basically. It's hard to believe. If you had told me on August 1, that on August 31st I would be eight pounds lighter, I would have scoffed in your face.

It gives me hope. Especially since I have not been exercising, due to this stupid knee. It bothers me as I write, but I think that later this morning I will march down the Prairie Path. Saturday morning, at six, I am sure that there were at least 100 people that I passed or that passed me. There was one walking group out in force, that must have had 50 at least. And this group did have some hefties. Unlike most of the people I see, real skinnies.

Today is not a diet plan day, but a using up stuff that needs to be eaten day. See, the diet does not have enuf leftover days. So this morning, I had two pieces of turkey bacon (it's really good) and 1 1/2 cups of Egg Beaters with a little salsa thrown on. Plus 1/4 cup of 1% milk in my coffee. It was a lot of ersatz eggs, but only 180 calories. 50 for the bacon, and a little over 30 for the milk. For lunch I plan to make a soup out of this really runny salsa, black beans, and maybe some rice. And there is a quarter of a red cabbage that is old. We'll see. Plus two leftover fish dinners.

If I'm thinking along those lines of 1 pound every five days, then on Saturday, when I weigh next, I only have to be 185. So I'm ahead, and it takes some of the stress out. But that doesn't mean I will ease off. I have figured out which of the weight and stretching exercises I can do that don't involve my knee too much. But the walking does, and I know that the more weight I lose, supposedly, the better my knee should be. It's the same old one that has sustained several injuries over the years, starting when I was in college.

So onward and downward.

30 days down.

THE NEW ME

Well, here we are seven days later, and at 186 pounds. I did see 185 some days ago, but didn't weigh after that for a few days, because I didn't want to see it go back up, but of course it did, and on the 26th I weighed in at 186.

In reading the preface for this diet book, I saw that the woman who wrote it lost 150 pounds in two years. She was much younger, but my height, 5'2". She seems to have followed no precise plan, but just changed the way and amounts she ate, and started moving. I figure that she basically lost 1 pound every five days, so I decided to only weigh myself every five days. I don't for one nano-second believe that I can lose 1 pound every five days, but I can try, I guess. So that on the 31st, when I will weigh again, I should weigh 186. What I weigh now.

Perhaps I am too caught up in numbers. She said that she learned to enjoy the whole weight loss process, a concept I can't quite wrap my mind around. But eating better, and getting in shape is a goal all by itself. Even if you weren't overweight.

And to top it all off, this morning's Trib had a small article down at the bottom of a page, that said that as an eating partner, you should never ever eat with a thin person who eats a lot, because you eat as they do, thinking they're thin. Hah!! Guess who has lived with such a person for 41 years. No wonder. I do remember that in the year we dated before we got married, I gained 20 pounds. And I knew it was because I ate as he did.

And I've been skipping exercise. Not because I don't want to do it, but because yesterday it was raining, and today, my knee hurts, and I am reluctant to either dance around the basement on it, or do the weight and stretching exercies which involve my knees totally. It's the humidity, I think. Haven't yet decided about today, but tomorrow, unless it's pouring, I will get up and go trooping down the Path. When the weather is like it is today, damp, dreary, dark, all I want to do is read.

I am trying to remember something I learned when I watched a lot of tennis because I had a thing for Stefan Edberg, the Swede who eventually was #1 in the world for a while. I had started watching him long before that, in the early days, when he was not quite yet in control of his game. And when he made a mistake he would let it get to him, and so of course he would lose. But after a while of this, he began to learn not to obsess on the flub, but to immediately put it behind him and play in the very next moment. And that is when he began to win, and win, and win. I think it must be the formula for all winners. I have never forgotten it, and have tried to apply it to my life, and exercise and weight loss. Sure, it's the old stand-by "Live in the moment", but with the added caveat of "forget your mistakes, or at least learn by them and move forward". Easier said than done, I will admit, and requires great strength of willpower.
So today. I am still rising 30 minutes before dawn, well except for Wednesday night, when for some inexplicable reason, I went to bed at 8 PM, not being able to stay awake one more moment, and did not arise til 7:20 yesterday morning. And slept all that time, except for when the alarm went off, but it was raining, and I wouldn't walk then anyway, as the Prairie Path would just be a mass of puddles. It was odd.

Still eating right. The gram portion of my scale broke, and I have decided not to replace it. Most of this world does not weigh and measure things, and I must learn to do that too.

Still trying. 27 days down.


And I must report on Macy's Glamorata. It was such fun. Would definitely go again next year, and pony up for the more expensive tickets, figuring it goes to a very worthy charity, The Ronald McDonald House. We were in the nose bleed section, but still could see that all the models' legs looked like horses' legs, so skinny we wondered how they could hold them up. Most of the clothes were good, being things that Macy's would sell here, and not so haute couture as would be seen in Paris. The men's wet swimsuit show was a hoot. Generally speaking the men seemed to be having a good time, enjoying themselves, while the women took themselves much too seriously. And they all walked just like you would expect models to walk, slouched forward, and thrown back.
The very best part was just hanging over the entrance balcony and watching all the arrivals, what they wore, how they looked. There was far more of a mixture of humanity than I had supposed. Not at all just the rich and famous.
We watched them all leave too. It was only an hour, and thank god I had my ear plugs, and a spare for my friend, or we could not have endured it. The bass was so turned on you could feel it in your bones. I had never seen or even heard of Ne-Yo but I can now easily understand why he is a Grammy winner. He was terrific. The other two performers were forgettable.
I did wish one of my sons were there to see one of the designers shows. The light design was incredible. I have never seen anything like it.
All in all, a really fun evening. The Chicago Theatre, by itself, is worthy of many pictures, and alas, I had no camera. That place is the very epitome of grand old palaces. Don't die without seeing its insides.

Sunday I went with my daughter-in-law to a Greek festival held at a Greek church way up by Foster and California. I had not realized it was so far. And had thought there would be Greek dancing. We found out that the dancing would only be in the evening and we were there for lunch. I had a Greek salad, which I dearly love anyway. Lots of nummy feta cheese, and yes, I poured on the dressing they gave me, but only one portion. And some whole milk plain yogurt. The church was quite beautiful, in great condition.
Rides and games for children, and a craft fare. Of course I bought some stuff. But I dearly would have liked to see the dancing.

THE NEW ME

Saturday, August, 15th, 10:00 am

Well, I am still continuing. This morning I weighed 188, yesterday 187. Yes, I do weigh every single day. And I have read that those people who manage to keep their weight off for five years and more do the same. It helps me somehow to do this.

I did no exercise at all on Friday, the second time in two weeks. Thursday was my Chicago Art Institute Day and I walked my feet off, starting with walking from the train station to the Harold Washington Library on Congress because I was early and wanted to see if they had any back issues of Woman's Day magazine. There is one with a scrumptious yellow kitchen pictured in an ad, but damn, I can't remember what issue or even what ad, so I'll have to scroll thru microfiche. A real pain.
Then I walked to the AI and walked all over that place and up and down stairs til around noon, when I left and walked to The Chicago Theatre at State and Randolph to get tickets to Macy's Glamorata. Now at my age this would seem silly, but I have never in my life seen an honest-to-god fashion show, and I would like to. Plus it's a fund raiser for The Ronald McDonald House, and I figure it might give me incentive. Then back to the AI, more walking and up and downing, and a bus to the train station, and back to pick up my car, which my husband leaves so I don't have to walk home. A feat I'm not sure I could have done at that point. Miles and miles that day.

But I did have the cheapest lunch and stuck to my diet at the AI's cafe, which does have really good food. I looked at the salads, but of the three offered, two had cheese and other stuff, that I shouldn't eat, at least not now, so I opted for just the garden salad, then walked over to the sandwich station, and asked for two pieces of sourdough bread (I think it was just plain white) and some turkey breast. When he said "You want that on the bread, don't you?" and I replied "Not particularly", he plopped what was at least a quarter to a third of a pound if not more of meat on my plate. Wow! It was a lot. And I treated myself to a pat of butter for the bread. Plus I got some fat-free Italian dressing, which was like water, but it did the job. I had a huge salad with low-fat meat, bread and butter, and coffee. Lunch was $6.32, and coffee alone was $1.85. I do save the taxes because I am a member.

I felt good about that lunch. Sticking to the plan. This morning I got up at the normal thirty minutes before dawn, and trooped down the Path. My knees are bothering me now, and I'm not sure what to do. I suspect a lot has to do with dancing around the basement, but I truly love to do that. Everything I do involves the knees, whether walking, dancing, or the exercises I do. And I must do them in order to lose and then maintain weight. A Catch-22 indeed. In fact, yesterday I went to see a terrific flic, "Bandslam" and loved the music so much I came home and bought the CD off of Amazon, because I know I can really move to it.

But I am reading while eating. Period. I don't think I can give that up. I do weigh and measure my food, something that perhaps someday I can get away from. Not now.

14 days down.

THE NEW ME

Here we are on Monday morning at 9:18 am, and still on track. Although yesterday I did no exercise at all (it was a scheduled walk day) because on Saturday we went to the Bud Billiken Parade. Whew! Were we ever unprepared for it's length! We arrived at a good viewing point at 9am, parade started to hit our spot at 10:15, and at 1:20 we bailed, with probably another hour to go at least. We had no chairs or real food, just some pretzels (not me, I had baked potato chips, one serving carefully measured) and I had brought a whole bunch of red and yellow pepper sticks. We had been standing since 9, and between the heat, no food, the incredible noise, mostly from the blasting loudspeakers of several parade entrants, the standing, we had had enough. But it was totally worth it, and we all decided we would go back next year. It was just plain fun.

Unfortunately, the best laid plans etc., etc. My car, which I had thought to drive to Hyde Park for some lunch for my two friends (I had brought a sandwich and a tomato in a cooler) simply would not start. I could not believe it. This thing is my favorite possession in all the world. So we had to sit in it, and the heat, for another hour and a half, waiting to be rescued by a significant other, and to my surprise, my husband, who had not been home when I called. But the significant other brought a rather large dog, and now there were five of us and the dog to go in a Chevy Yukon. With no air, no less! It was 93 degrees and steamy. So my husband and I opted for the Green line and the Metra station home. Blessed air conditioning. And then when we got back to our suburb, I had to walk a mile home.

You can probably guess why yesterday I did not move much at all. I had lost two pounds between Saturday morning and Sunday morning. Today I gained one pound back and weighed in at 188.
But I'm back to normal now, still got up early and did my exercises, and will dance around the basement here in a short while. I like to wait at least an hour after I eat breakfast before I do that.

Have kept to the diet pretty much, only altering it to my tastes. I do like onion and lettuce on my sandwiches, something the plan does not call for. I figure that can't hurt. And milk in my coffee. I usually just take it from my daily allowance, but today no milk is called for, so I added about 1/4 cup (skim) to my coffee this morning, and will add a splash at lunch.

Also I am still eating in the yellow porch, although I cut some flowers for the table, got out a place mat to match the dark blue plates and bowls I now use. And I simply find it almost impossible not to read at breakfast and lunch, and watch TV at dinner. These are really ingrained habits, even in childhood. My parents basically hated each other, and at dinner we turned the TV around to face the breakfast room where we ate, so conversation could be avoided.

If I only put on my plate the allotted portion of food, what difference can it make? Although all, simply all, the experts say to never do this, but only eat, concentrate on your food. I think they are right, because I do find I am not as conscious of what I am taking in as if I just sat there and ate. Sometimes I do this, but not often. Maybe I should try harder. I think I eat slower too.

Nine days down.

ME

7:48 pm Thursday evening - still on track. Getting up 30 minutes before dawn, tomorrow that will be at 5:20 am. I looked back in my daily journal, mostly garden stuff, but saw that at the beginning of the year dawn is at 7:20, so that means that the latest I will ever get up is 6:50. I guess that's not too bad.

Used that classical tape Wednesday morning. At first I thought it was way too slow, but it picked up finally and I walked the same distance, 3 miles, and arrived home in a sweat. All the joggers in the world. When I crossed Route 83 and looked down the path, I counted at least 15, mostly coming towards me. I'll keep using that tape for a while yet.

Dancing around the basement too, and doing the exercises, and sticking to the exercise program. Yesterday, I even brought my lunch to Arlington Race Track. Good thing too, as I left home with $56, and returned with only $20. I dearly love the track, having been born and raised in Louisville. My father's company had a box seat for the Derby, and so I went several times. I love horse racing. Anyway, the entrance fee is $5, and it is such a beautiful place, it's a shame it's so sparsely attended. At least on Wednesdays. I bet all 8 races, $6 each, so that's $48. I won two races, and lost all the rest.

Got home and collapsed on the couch at 7:30. Finally went up to bed at 8:45, but I did get up this morning after a good nite's rest.

Saturday I plan to go to the Bud Billiken Parade, and don't think I should carry a lunch in all that heat. And we have to get an early start, so I'm not sure how that day will go.

I did get out a nice placemat, and cut some autumn lilies for the table. They have such a marvelous fragrance. It perfumes the whole room.

So far, so good. Six days down.

ME

Here we are at 11:39 Monday morning, and so far so good. Still getting up 30 minutes before dawn, this morning that was 5:17. But right now I am very hungry.

Interesting thing on Saturday along the Prairie Path. On the north side, all is wild prairie, lovely and unkempt, as nature tends to be. On the south side, McMansions with a place for every plant, and every plant in its place. Neat and tidy to the nth degree. Such a contrast. I wonder if the homeowners are even aware of it. I don't much care for that style of landscaping myself.

Sunday I got up early and did the exercise routine and stretching, and was rather surprised at my lack of flexibility now, especially in my back and the back of my thighs. Those exercises were damn hard! But I already know that in the long run, they're worth it.

And sometime before lunch I did dance around the basement to Beethoven's Ritterballet - and loved it. I have two versions, and it is so interesting to hear how different conductors interpret the same music. It is 12 minutes long, and I did both versions, with a break in between. I enjoyed that almost more than the walking at dawn. I remember my father telling me that if he had had the voice, which he didn't, he would have been an opera singer. I grew up with opera, and hearing him sing "Figaro" in the shower. If I had had the body, and the chance, I would have been a dancer.

I am surprised at how easily I gave up sugar in my coffee. I always had one tablespoon of the stuff in the 7 cups (marker on the pot, works out to 2 /12 12 ounce mugs) every morning and 1/2 tablespoon at lunch. With 2% milk. Now I just use skim with no sugar, and it isn't hard at all. I had thought it would be horrible.

And I have discovered strawberries dipped in no-fat chocolate pudding. Really nummy.

There are tips in the book that I am reading, a zillion, but I am going to read one each day. The first is to drink a glass of water before each meal. Not hard. In the evening I drink sparkling mineral water, some Polish brand. Maybe with lemon or lime in it. Second tip is to eat from dark-colored plates. I had bought some navy blue ones back in 2002 so I pulled those out. No wonder I was having trouble all these years. We use very brightly colored plates, which apparently stimulate your appetite. Tell that to my thin husband. Third tip - eat in rooms that are blue or gray. Well, I'd have to eat in the bedroom to do that. Every other room in the house is a warm color. The back porch, where we eat all our meals is yellow, a color to avoid. Great. So maybe I'll try the formal dining room. That at least is cream.

This morning, when I went for a bowl for my cereal and half a banana, I had two choices, a large one and a small one. Now in the past that would have been a no-brainer, and you can guess which one. Even today, I thought the small one couldn't possibly hold 3/4 cup of All-Bran, that banana, and some milk. But I did try it, and of course it was perfect. Now I know what size to use in the future, even if I don't always weigh the cereal.
This morning I trotted down the Prairie Path, east this time. Won't do that again, however. I run into the underpass for both 290 and the North-South tollway, and the booming noise and creaking is not enjoyable. I was hoping to go west one day and east another, just to keep boredom at bay, but now I guess not. Tons of joggers again. Even two women, one jogging and a taller one walking, keeping together.

I'm also going to switch tapes from the Sargeant to a classical walking tape at 3 mph. Perhaps I can keep up with that, although as I remember the beat is not as good. We'll see on Wednesday. Work back up to the marching ones, which I do prefer. I was 189 this morning.

This morning's Trib has a front page article on OCD. I read the whole thing, and now wonder if I have it at all. I am certainly never anxious about my behavior in any way. I do have, to some extent, a need for perfection, but I have certainly had to make allowances for that with the man I live with, now over 40 years. One of my favorite things to do in fact is to arrange and/or organize stuff. And I do feel the need to follow the diet plan exactly, but I haven't always done that, like having more than 1/2 cup of broccoli and red boiled potatoes. It doesn't bother me a whole lot. I do like exactness, but don't get in a knot if I can't find it. You should see my house and garden! So maybe I don't have OCD at all, or if so, a very mild version. My sons say they have never seen one that takes the form of an alpha-omega obsession. But I'm not sure if iti s an obsession now, or just an easy and fun way to make unimportant decisions. Not every aspect of my life is dictated by that.

2nd day down.

ME

Here I am at 7:36 pm, with a cup of green tea, the first day down. I did indeed rise at 5:14, throw on some clothes, set the coffee maker, and go out the door. And I did do the exercise tape for an hour, but only 3 miles, not four. I never can do the four, as my stride is simply not long enough. But today, I could not even keep up with the tape. It's called "Walking with the Sergeant", and I have five, all in different speeds, but none less than the four mile per hour pace, and that is not consistent. It starts slower, goes faster in the middle, and then winds down. They are good, but I realized fairly early on this morning that right now at least, I can only do this every other day. At least for the month of August, that's what I will do.

And I did not do any more exercise either. Although I did walk around Jewel finishing the grocery shopping. I guess I must start smaller and build up. Tomorrow I will do the upper body work and stretches, and maybe some dancing in the basement. I have a great Beethoven CD, the Ritterballet, which has some wonderful music.

As far as food goes, it was no problem. Stuck with it all day. Was hungry at times, but not horribly. But now I'm tired. Will probably go to bed soon, as I plan to be up at 5:15 tomorrow. Set the coffee and do the exercises then, just get them out of the way. It really opens up the day.

And I want to add an addendum about The Illinois Prairie Path, which Is what I walk. I have never seen the prairie plants so glorious. Must be all the rain. A stretch even has plants taller than I am. Somebody's lilac bee balm escaped into it also. Cone flowers, yellow ones, all sorts of other stuff. And the morning, soft and lovely. Was a pleasure to be out there. Why do I ever quit? And I was most certainly not alone, even at that early Saturday morning hour. Tons of joggers, a few bikers and walkers, and of course dog walkers. And all slim. It is an exerciser's paradise.

ME

Last day before start of new life and new habits (I hope!). Yesterday my friends and I went to Northbrook, and we live in Crystal Lake, Riverside, and Elmhurst, and had lunch at a wonderful restaurant at 2124 Northbrook Court, on the very north side of it, Di Pescara. We would all highly recommend it, not only for the food, but because they let us sit there from 1 til 5, just talking after a most enjoyable lunch. We went there for the crab legs, and they did not disappoint. And I had peppermint ice cream for dessert, one of my very favs, and usually only available at Christmas time. I was surprised to have it offered. I wore my new makeup and perfume.

So today I will do major grocery shopping. Which will take forever, as I shop the ads and go to several different stores for the best prices on stuff. Tomorrow I hope to rise at 5:14 am and walk. Will set the coffee maker to go on so that I will have coffee ready when I walk in the door.

I am trepidatious, but I can only try. One day at a time.

ME

Yesterday, I went and bought some more beauty products, including a new, expensive perfume, Lancome's Magnifique, at $65 for a 1.7 oz spray. Yes, I do own perfume, which I love to wear, but the two that I have are Joy and some bluebell body spray, both of which are rather sweet. Magnifique is more woodsy, not floral. I love it. So now I have some choices.

So far I've spent almost $200 on Products, but I figure I haven't done so for, truthfully, years. And I do think prices now might be at their lowest, hopefully. This stuff will last me for years too. And today, I intend to go out and try and get a few more, and then come home and internet shop the rest.
And after that, write down some sort of beauty routine, one I can stick to. All this by way of just making me feel better about myself, thus an incentive to stick to the diet and exercise.

Also, this morning, I made out a huge grocery list, to shop for on Friday, and start this whole thing on Saturday. Even plan to take my lunch to Arlington when we go next Wednesday. Think of the money I'll save that I can then end up losing at the track. I made copious notes in Rempe's book in 2002, and see where most of the recipes were delicious. That's good. Diets always cost me a fortune in the beginning, but then level off, as I build up a supply of the food I need. And wonder of wonders, Caputo's actually has a sale on what is normally very expensive beef tenderloin, So cheap I wonder if it's the real thing.
And I did think that, if I'm bored with the Rempe book after 40 days, and I WILL last that far, I can go on to another diet book. I have plenty. I don't believe the diet so much matters, as the sticking to it does.

So I'm getting there. Sorted my CDs that I want to use to dance with in the basement. Took the breast exercise book upstairs. And laid down the two nice bottles of red wine, that now I will save for Thanksgiving. Now I have to search for the weights. It's mostly upper body work and stretching, something a 67-year-old does need. And the 20-Minute-Exercise video.

Tomorrow I'm going out with some old friends to a small art show in Evanston and DiPescara's restaurant in Northbrook to get some real crab legs. I don't know if I've ever even had those before. And when I say old friends, I mean of 46 years duration. And those are the best. They know me inside out, backwards and forwards, from before I was married. They know my OCD, my quirks, my personality, as not even my husband does, I suspect. I am truly myself with them as with no others. All this by way of saying - if you've got some good friends, keep them. In later years, they will be a treasure like no other. And they know, too, all my diet woes. They even remember me when I was slim. Last year, when I lost almost twenty pounds, one of them asked (the skinny one) didn't I feel so much better? And I had to say no, I felt no different at all. Diet-wise, it's a curse to be so healthy.

ME

And another thing. The reason (I just thought of) that I am so reliant on a rigid diet is that I transfer my OCD from finishing things, to the diet, sticking to that exactly. And that does work, until I get bored. How to keep from doing that is the question? How to keep the motivation.
PS. My husband weighs 170 pounds. Lean and trim, every inch. It's disgusting. But he does move a lot, except when he doesn't. He can sit and read for hours, something I cannot do. Odd. And he sleeps much less than I. I think I sleep too much too, but again, so did my mother. How our genes determine us.

I might try here to post every night after the exercise video, we'll see.

ME

OK - this one is all about me, and my body. Once again, I have reached the point of disgust with myself, and so I thought that if I put it down here in print, for all the world to see, maybe, just maybe, I can get the determination, and endurance, and lord knows what, to lose weight.
I am 67 years old, am now 5' 2" tall, (I used to be 5' 2 3/4" tall) and weighed this morning before consuming anything, 191 pounds. This is ridiculous, I feel like a blob.
Admittedly I am a foodie, as are my sons, and I love to cook, and am good at it. One of the joys of my life is starting a new recipe. I actually love to grocery shop. I love to read recipes even. What chance have I?
And the thing is, my OCD is a big deterrence. Years ago, in fact the year before the big snow storm in Chicago on Valentine's Day I went on a liquid diet, starting at 177 and eventually getting down to 117 pounds. This was through Rush Hospital, and they had a weekly counseling session, run by a guy who was as skinny as we were all fat. At one session he pulled me out into the hall and said that he thought my weight problems stemmed not from any psychological issues but from OCD, and would I consider taking meds. I was stunned. I never even dreamt I had such a thing, even though I did realize I had some odd habits. I immediately came home and asked my husband if he knew I had OCD, and he said "Sure". Wow!
So. But being a definite non-pill person, I declined the meds. And like everybody else, I regained the weight. But I did quit exercising hard and I went back to my old eating habits. I have nobody to blame but myself.
I hate my body, hate it, but unfortunately for any weight loss efforts, it works. I am blessed with good genes, and my mother, who lived to be 98 1/2, was overweight after she had me at 44 (and had struggled to keep a decent weight for long before that, telling me that she used to eat only one meal a day). In fact, I have her body. Her sister was obese, and lived to be over 90. My father and his sisters were long-lived, most in their 80s and some well into the 90s. He was 90 when he died. My mother's only health issues were arthritis and incontinence. Period. No high blood pressure, no diabetes, no high cholesterol. When I took her, finally, to a nursing home at age 96, they refused to believe me when I told them she was on no pills at all.
So there is no health issue that can give me any incentive. Sure, I have arthritis in my knees, but it does not keep me from going up and down stairs a zillion times a day, or walking five miles.
I eat too much, and move too little. Period. I love food and wine. Too much.

What to do? What to do? In the past, I get bored with any diet after a while. Last year, 2008, at the beginning, I started taking that Alli (I was so desperate that, yes, I took pills). I followed the on-line diet religiously, and from 192, I dropped to 173 by June! But the diet was so much trouble, I began to be concerned about any long-term effects, and I was bored with it. So I quit. And quit exercising, which I was doing. And look what happened. Back to Go.
Another thing. I seem always to hover around the same weight. For decades now. I don't keep on gaining at least. And I console myself with that fact, not good.

I am gearing up to start another diet and exercise program. The diet from "1,001 Simple Ways to Lose Weight" by Gary L. Rempe, copyright 1997. I own a bunch of diet books, natch, and this was the first in alpha order. And I see I have gone on the diet before, in 2002. I started at 188, only 3 pounds from now. And it is a 40 day diet, which will give me a good start - I hope. I have done this so very many times now. And I ALWAYS at some point, quit. The thing is, I must, simply MUST, learn how to eat without a diet regimen. But first things first, I think.

Many others have weight loss blogs, I know, but this really isn't for you, it's for me. And how many are my age? I want to live forever, and begin to worry that I cannot do that at this weight. And I'm so sick of the way I look. Yesterday, I even went out and bought Product, something I haven't done for years, mascara, blush, foundation, etc.

So all this writing is by way of gearing myself up, of putting on the sword, and shield, and chain mail, and helmet, so to speak. (I love all things medieval.)

I haven't gone out and bought the food yet. Am still looking for Product. And I must somehow learn to go off the diet when I travel and go out to restaurants, but still make the right choices. And give up alcohol. Hard. And exercise. And yes, get back to the bus routes, maybe ease off gardening for a while. I also hate my house and garden and the way they both look. See, all that involves movement, cleaning and washing and weeding. Something I'm not very good at. This very blog is stationary.

And another thing. I am married to a 70-year-old man, who jogs five miles every other day, who is 6' tall, and can eat every and any thing he wants, and weighs what he did in high school, maybe less. I know that even if he didn't run, his body would still metabolize at a disgusting rate. His sister's does. People who watch him eat can't believe his weight. Or how much he can put down. And when I cook something, he has always persisted in splitting it right down the middle, giving me half. I could serve myself first, and should, and then let him put the leftovers away. But, while I know that my weight is not his problem, he knows that it is very hard, due to my OCD, for me to leave anything. This is what the guy at Rush picked up on, that I have to finish things. Or eat something that I can finish. Another thing I must get past, somehow.

My exercise plan is to get up every morning 30 minutes before dawn, throw on some clothes, and go off walking down the Illinois Prairie Path for an hour to a walking tape that a deceased friend recorded for me years ago. It thus has resonance. And I have done this before and actually enjoy it. The world is different then, particularly the light. It is magical. I sleep better, and feel better about myself. Why then do I always discontinue? Is there an inner Being I can connect to? I wish I believed that.

I would also do, every other day, some exercises from a book called "101 Essential Tips Breast Care" by Dr. Miriam Stoppard, also 1997, and a DK Publishing book, which puts out great stuff. I have done this set, which takes me about 40 minutes, off and on for years now also, and again, feel great when they finally kick in, about 4 to 6 weeks after I start. I tie them in to making my bed, which I do religiously every day. I hate getting in an unmade bed. And that works for me. Or has.

Then I would like to, before lunch, do a little dancing in the basement to my CDs. I love to dance, and I just freestyle my way around here. It's fun.

And after dinner, instead of parking in front of the TV for a DVD, which I usually do, to just do a little of the "20 Minute Workout" that I have taped from many years ago. Admittedly it's for 20-year-olds, but, hey, they do have great bods, and give me inspiration. It would probably take me a year just to work up to doing 20 minutes.

Too much? Maybe. But I have the metabolism of a slug. Which reminds me that I saw that word in the name of an English pub in Norwich, "The Lettuce and the Slug".

So here we are. And here we go.